Did you know that my mother owns a shiny red 2000 Corvette?
Did you know that my mother loves Depeche Mode, the Pet Shop Boys, Scorpion and Johnny Winters?
Did you know that my mother is friends with two parrots, named Garbonzo and Copa?
Did you know that my mother is fanatical about dolphins, butterflies, and orchids?
Did you know that my mother wears what you might call "tie dyed" clothing that she creates herself, but if you said that to her she would say "It's Shibori, an ancient Japanese dying technique", and then she'd give you an icy stare for being so stupid?
Did you know that my mother runs 5 miles, and then bikes 2 miles, each day?

My mother is going to turn 62 any day now.
It's hard to keep up with her.
I am 33, have been for about a month now.
She wears me out.
Thank god she lives in Florida.